1.possessing or exhibiting courage or courageous endurance.
God’s crazy. As of two weeks ago, I was completely doubting myself, the call that had been placed on my life, and the everyday motions that made up my life. I was fully aware of how broken I was, but it never resonated deeper than a surface level understanding. But something changed. Over the last week or so, this feeling of a brokenness deep within me suddenly felt touched. After over a year of feeling hardened and bitter, it was as if this dark and maybe even neglected place had been reached by the most unsuspecting person and in the most unsuspecting way. “What is this?” I ask God. “Why am I being touched by something so simple? How can someone unknowingly break through the scar tissue that had been surrounding my heart for so long and holding it captive?”
It was as if having someone tell me that I don’t have to justify myself to them suddenly changed everything.
I often feel like I always have to explain myself to everyone. That what I say is accountable to everyone and I need to have an explanation for every word I say, even when I am sarcastic. But I am quickly realizing that it dulls the opinionated person that I am. I am so afraid of what people would think of me by the words that come out of my mouth. It is as if I am too afraid of displeasing people to simply be myself. But God created me to be blunt and honest. And I am so far from that. As I think about it now, I think it had become a tightly shackled chain that had been around my neck for too long. And all of the sudden, in the moment it takes one to snap, my heart had suddenly been smashed by the Lord of Heaven. As soon as this had happened, I began to feel different. No longer was I being judged for being myself by a person who I had assumed was as judgmental as the rest of the people I thought was judgmental. And that changed everything. It gave me hope for the group I belong to in ways I never thought I would have hope in ever again.
No longer can I hide myself visions of my small group and my life suddenly began to appear in my thoughts and dreams. For the first time in months, I am excited about leading girls to Jesus and subsequently walking life with them. The passion that had grown stagnant suddenly appears in my life. I am excited about meeting new freshman at orientations, talking, and simply praying that one person has a seed planted in them to come to Jesus. But with this passion, God has been dreaming and writing up a vision that had disappeared over the last couple of months. I couldn’t even trust myself enough to think I could be a part of a girl’s life when I was so far down a road that I didn’t want to be down. But God’s vision and plan is so much bigger than me being messed up and falling short of glory. He has trusted me with a vision and a plan for girls on my college campus and city. I just need to have a willing heart and be actively seeking Him about it.
My vision for my small group is that I don’t want my girls to feel trapped in the person people expect them to be. God created us to be free. Heck, His son died for us so that we may be free in Him. I want them to be able to stand up and declare
“Lord, my God! You make me brave! I am free from everything else because of You. YOU MAKE ME BRAVE GOD. You make us brave and BOLD in our classrooms, in our ministry group, in our surroundings, in our lives. We will not let the pathetic aspect of the world shackle us in things that trap and bound us to a master we don’t have to serve. But rather because of you, we can share Your love in such a way that is revolutionizing and world changing.”
Be brave. Seek God to reveal what needs to happen to free us from the captivity of our sins and transgressions. There is too great a need of God- lovers in the world to be held back by something we were meant to be free of.
This is a scripture that had been weighing heavily on my heart right now. I thought I would share
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
5 You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only look with your eyes
and see the recompense of the wicked.
9 Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place—
the Most High, who is my refuge—
10 no evil shall be allowed to befall you,
no plague come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
12 On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the adder;
the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.
14 “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
I will protect him, because he knows my name.
15 When he calls to me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”
The Rooted Wanderer.