This One is For the Guys.

Dear Men,

I think if we are all being honest with each other, which is a rarity in our generation, I would say that how we treat each other is extremely cruel. We have gone from developing meaningful relationships to simply degrading each other for sexual satisfaction and temporary fulfillment. But really, at the end of the night, when you are laying alone in bed, what do you want most? Do you feel happy with where you are in life?

Over the last few months, I had the “opportunity” to have my eyes opened to some cold hard truths. And that is what prompted my need to write this letter.

I have heard many men say that “Women are complicated and they over-think everything.” But let me be real with you? If you didn’t do half of the crap you do, being complicated and over thinking everything wouldn’t be such a prevalent issue in your relationship with her.

Women just need to be unconditionally loved, cherished, respected, reaffirmed in such a way that they have given it to you. They need to be reminded that you care for her, that you are okay, and most importantly, you are still in their life.

But men, I plead to you, don’t use women to placate your own needs. Sure there are women out there that will do the same thing to you, but you were created to be more than that. Women were not placed on this earth to be a sexual plaything or an sponge to your emotional tragedies. They were not meant to be someone you go to only to push away when you don’t want them any more. They need consistency, not a never ending cycle of “I need you” but “I need you to permanently vacate my life until I need you again.” They were placed in your life to walk next to you, be a source of encouragement and fulfillment that only a woman can provide. They were created to both love and be loved on levels that would blow your mind. Don’t screw that up. Don’t distort a woman’s natural state for your own damn pleasures. Man up and be who you were created to be. Don’t hurt a woman to a point that she no longer wants to be who the Good Lord created her to be. Just say no and stop before you hurt her.

Please, for all that is good and holy, if you are interested in a girl, pursue it. Don’t dance around your emotions and leave her wondering when she is alone at night. Because if you leave a girl wondering, she’s going to explore every avenue of her brain simply to wonder whether or not you like her. Just tell her. I’m not asking that you profess your love and affection to her. Just tell her whether or not she even has a chance. And if she doesn’t have a chance, tell her, so that she can get the hell out of dodge. Before she becomes emotionally attached despite all of the warnings she heard. Be a gentleman, save her from the heartbreak. Protect her fragile yet resilient heart.

If she makes you laugh, and you make her laugh to the point of falling of the bed while she’s on the phone with you, keep her. There is such a source of healing in laughter. It produces a joy that cannot be extinguished by the dark circumstances that loom around us in the place called life. Joy is something that can be caught in small periods  of your life. It reminds you that even though everything might not be okay right now, it will be in the future. You just need to be with a woman who makes you laugh, who makes you fall in love with her laughter. Because that is a powerful force in a relationship.

If she says “I miss you,” it is not because she just misses you. She is just reminding you that she would fight hell or high water to simply look you in the eyes, to feel your arms around her as you hug her. It’s not about sex, physical and/or emotional intimacy, it’s simply that she wants to be near to you.

If she says she just wants You, that is nothing short than saying “I know it can’t happen now, I know that maybe there is a chance in the future, but for right now, I just want to know and learn about you.” One of the most important things about women is that learning about you is one of the best parts of a relationship with anyone. Why is it the best? Well, learning is a never ending process. You are always evolving and changing as an individual and it is simply the coolest thing ever to witness and be a part of. Don’t abuse that. Enhance it. Be fascinated with the process and the results are simply a byproduct of something wonderful. This woman loves you. She understands that it might not be an option right now, but she still wants to be given the chance. AND BY GOD, give her the chance to rock your world. Because she will.

Most importantly, be communicative with her.  To prevent future spastic blowing up of the phone, just say you’re busy and you’ll call her when you have a moment. Women have the uncanny ability to remember everything you ever might’ve said to her. So if radio silence is occurring on your end, she’s going to automatically think the worst. And this is a sign gentleman, that she cares. When she says she couldn’t sleep the other night, 75% of the time, she was either worrying or thinking about you. If anything, just let her know that you are okay. Just tell her that you are busy, or even better, warn her before hand. That way she can go about her business and not worry about what’s wrong with you or what could’ve happened to you.

Sincerely,

A woman slightly pissed off and concerned for the future generations.

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