Germany…. There are not enough words for me to begin to explain the emotions I am experiencing right now.
Unexplainable emotions that have yet to be named by a human mind.
To begin the journey, to gain an understanding of the process of my going to Germany becoming more than a dream or an empty talk, I have to tell you some important events that shaped the road to today, just less than a week from my boarding a plane and travelling to the country I have dreamt about since I was little girl.
The first even that came into fruition during this journey was in August when I looked my mentor in the eye and announced that “Hell or high water, I am going to Germany. I feel like I am supposed to be there.”
The next paycheck, I took out forty dollars and set it an envelope on my wall where I could see and pray about it.
Two weeks later I spent the $40.00.
I copped out on God, on this dream, and just told myself that going Germany was simply a pipe dream that might never happen.
On September 25th, 2014, God slapped me in the face.
In one of those unexplainable God moments, I realized how much I had fallen short of this dream and simply copped out on Him and his plans.
I gave up on myself and on Him before He had the chance to work.
That night I pulled a big Mason jar out of my mom’s canning jar collection, printed a picture of the German flag, and put every coin I had stashed in my coin jar/bedroom floor into it. I looked at my parents and announced that, “I am going to get there one way or another.” And somehow over the next five months, I managed to do just that. But I can’t say that I did any of this, because if I did this on my own, I would’ve spent the money meant for Germany or talked myself out of this trip before I had the chance to try.
You see, I haven’t experienced how large and perfect the power and provision of God was until I began support raising for this trip. Between me putting back money every paycheck, my parents helping whenever they could, and the awesome people God placed in my life to help support me spiritually and financially to get to Europe, I had my trip paid in full by the first week of February. We aren’t just talking about a couple of hundreds of dollars or just enough to make a dent in the deposits, but I met my $2,400 goal two months before it was due and then had extra to help pay for necessities like my passport.
All because He told me I was supposed to be there. I didn’t believe Him at first, why would he take a slightly introverted bookworm who has only dreamed of travelling the world, and gave her the most perfect chance to start filling long dreamt about dreams and plans?!
Somehow, because of Him, I was able to follow through with some empty and forgotten words I made in August until the trip. As the flakiest person who experienced a really bad semester and quite honestly had a hard time spiritually and mentally committing to anything other than work and school, I am currently making packing lists and ordering Euros for the dream that a young little History nerd dreamt about her entire life.
Deep down in my soul, I hear this little voice saying, “Darling this is only the beginning. This is only the start.”