A Letter to the Good Guys.

I’d like to be the first to point something out. While we are not always the first pick, the person you always look at in interest, there are some girls out here in this big ole’ hurting world who see the goodness in you.


If you know me, even remotely, you would know that I am an addict of all things coffee. At any point of the day I am either consuming coffee, already drank a pot, or getting ready to drink another. So take this moment to imagine me sitting across from you with my cutoff jeans and cowboy boots on, coffee in hand, having a random conversation about God knows what.

But in light of all of the crap that has happened in my life over the last eight months, I felt it was imperative to share this side of my hear, a more positive and uplifting side. So get your coffee/tea/water/beer cup or mug, sit back wherever you are reading this, and start reading. ❤

Hey you. Yeah, you. You think you are a just “okay” guy or girl. You’ve found love a few times, done a few stupid things in your youth, or just last week, but it just never seems to stick or work out. And that’s frustrating. Trust me I know. The single boat is not a fun place to be floating alone in sometimes. It would appear that we have to figure out things for ourselves and not gain some of those life experiences that the World tells us we should experience.

Arguably, some of the people around us call us naïve for not understanding the baggage they’ve placed upon themselves from those worldly life experiences but I feel something should be said about this.

We are all toting around some kind of baggage. It’s a suitcase or a cosmetics case or our hot pink carry-on bag or the backpack that the military required us to own. It’s a trunk or a wallet, a pen pouch or a hanging bag. It may be different in appearance, not as severe as others, but it’s there…. It’s still one more thing that has to be brought to light when we do take that chance with a relationship with another soul struggling with their own demons, trying to wrestle the various pieces of baggage that we accumulate over time.

It’s still that one thing that has to be admitted.

And that’s the truth.

We are all chasing and fighting our own personal demons. And if the person you love or is interested in says that you are doing anything less than that, then maybe you should simply reconsider that relationship. Like they all say, we are all dealing with something, whether it be hurricane or forest fire big or small like a snowflake or bumblebee.

If God wanted us to struggle with the same things, I feel life would simply be black and white. A place where the same thing becomes the norm and no longer a struggle, merely another chapter to add to our personal stories. Our struggles and how we overcome them are such a testimony to God’s grace and strength. I think I forget that huge detail on a normal basis.

One of the most beautiful things about relationships is you no longer have to fight those things alone. You have your person standing right next to you, with some gun or knife or bow and arrow, ready to go to war with each other. When things are brought to the light in a relationship context, it builds trust, understanding, and you get to know someone on a different level as a result of being open and vulnerable.

But back to my point, you think you are just “okay” but you don’t understand that despite being the “good guy or girl,” it keeps going unnoticed. The other person finds another person to be interested in, things just don’t work, or even you get the best excuse of all… “It’s not you it’s me.” Needless to say, someone gets hurt, and usually we are on the receiving end of it.

I’d like to be the first to point something out. While we are not always the first pick, the person you always look at in interest, there are some girls out here in this big ole’ hurting world who see the goodness in you.

Who see you trying dedicatedly to be more than just another asshat that our society tends to produce as a result of our culture and values.

And they appreciate your efforts to being different than what the world keeps trying to tell us what our relationships should be like.

Us single girls who’ve been hurt by the dirt bags like mentioned above are grateful for men like you. In fact, personally, I wouldn’t believe good guys exist if it wasn’t for people like you.

Please keep doing what you are doing even if it means doing it alone. Because one day we’ll all find those people out there who have been struggling with the similar things and love us regardless of where we have been and are focused on simply moving forward.

Knowing that we deserve and are more than just being an average twenty-something should fuel a fire. It should be a light in the darkness of the era we live in.

And most importantly, it should remind us that we deserve more than a temporary satisfaction that’ll last as long as both are getting something out of it. Because love, and relationships, are about more than sex, being selfish, and pleasure. So much more.

So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.


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